GROSS Club Band Concert!
by CoolGirl89
Summary: G.R.O.S.S has a concert to raise funds!
1. The Get Rid OF Slimy girlS Club Band

A/N: Sorry I had to include Tony, but I like technicalities and this is the only way I could get much of a band. Just having Calvin and Hobbes, knowing that Hobbes probably wouldn't sing that much, was kindof weak. No offence to Elvenking, whose fic about Calvin having a band I think is pretty good. It's just my opinion. So, I have Tony back up or play or whatever. So obviously Calvin is 10. Just ignore me and go and read.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Calvin and Hobbes.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Up in a tree, totally hidden from view by the bright green leaves that danced lightly in the wind, 10 year old Calvin was in an unsettling meeting of G.R.O.S.S with Hobbes and Tony. It was unsettling because the three were arguing over a question that had haunted them for over a week: how to collect funds for G.R.O.S.S.  
  
"How about we buy all the tuna in the supermarket and then sell it for a lot more?" Hobbes said, in typical tiger fashion.  
  
"We don't have enough money to buy three cans of tuna. Hobbes would probably eat all of it anyway." Tony pointed out. Hobbes glared at Tony, his tail waving dangerously.  
  
"Hey! Hobbes! Listen! Why don't we charge money to watch the fights between me and Moe?" Calvin suggested.  
  
"No, that won't work. Moe would probably take it." Hobbes said.  
  
Finally, after another thirty minutes, they decided to have a charity concert in Calvin's front lawn and they would make money by running a refreshment stand. After much thought on who should run the stand, they decided to let Susie. Sure it would be hypocrisy, but the three of them needed to be in the band and besides, Susie was known for her selling ability. She had been top seller in her Girl Scout troop three years in a row and sold the most fundraising stuff for the school.  
  
  
  
Three weeks later, Calvin, Hobbes and Tony had written the songs, which would go to the tune of popular songs. They had also made a stage, borrowed Calvin's Dad's keyboard, Tony's Dad's drum set and microphones and Tony's kid guitar. The three members of G.R.O.S.S had practiced their songs. Everything was ready for today. Calvin would play the keyboard, Tony, the guitar, and Hobbes would play the drums. Susie would man the refreshment stand.  
  
When Calvin's parents, Tony's parents and Susie's parents (Susie had told them where she was going to be and they decided to come) had arrived and sat down in the chairs, the concert began.  
  
  
  
"Hey there everyone!" Calvin shouted. The six grownups clapped. "Welcome to the G.R.O.S.S charity concert. The money you donate will go to our club to benefit young men." He waved his hand behind unconsciously. He had gotten this sales type pitch from the salesmen who came to the door.  
  
"Today our first number be 'Get Rid Of Slimy girlS Club Band' Are you ready!?" He shouted even louder. A few half-hearted cheers came from the parents and one or two great cheers came from the kids across the street, who had come because of the noise. Calvin took a deep breath and started playing the opening measure. Hobbes and Tony joined in. The noise rattled the windows, but even the parents had to agree it was good.  
  
  
  
It was one year ago today  
  
Members met for the first time to say,  
  
"Welcome to this exclusive meeting,  
  
Where we will give all girls a beating."  
  
They've been doin' it ever since  
  
So put your hands together for..  
  
The Get Rid Of Slimy girlS Club Band  
  
  
  
We're the Get Rid Of Slimy girlS Club Band  
  
We hope you will enjoy the show  
  
We're the Get Rid Of Slimy girlS Club Band  
  
Sit back and let the morning go.  
  
  
  
The Get Rid Of Slimy...  
  
The Get Rid Of Slimy...  
  
The Get Rid Of Slimy Girls Club Band  
  
  
  
We're so glad you're with us  
  
We wish you wouldn't go  
  
Go buy some yummy refreshments  
  
To benefit our terrific club.  
  
To benefit our club!  
  
  
  
I don't really want to stop the show,  
  
But I thought you might to know,  
  
That we have coming up four more songs  
  
But you don't have to sing along.  
  
So put your hands together for..  
  
The only tiger in a band,  
  
And the Get Rid Of Slimy girlS Club Band!  
  
  
  
Everyone clapped and Calvin, Hobbes and Tony bowed. As they kept on bowing, Calvin whispered to Hobbes, "Faze one is complete."  
  
To be continued.. 


	2. Pleasant kindof Monday

Disclaimer: I do not own Calvin and Hobbes or 'Pleasant Valley Sunday" by the Monkeys.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Attention! " Calvin announced after 'Dictator-for-life Calvin's G.R.O.S.S club band'. The microphone flashed in sun. Having a stage in the middle of a front lawn sure attracts some people. There were about 9 more people in the lawn, besides Calvin's parents. Some were laughing, mostly the kids because they enjoy gatherings or were bored. Some telling Calvin's parents how cute it was, although others were horrified at what the content of the song was. Even more had headed over to refreshment stand, where Susie was raking in cash for the club, to buy a nice cold glass of lemonade or a cookie.  
  
"Thank you for coming to G.R.O.S.S's fund-raising concert. We accept a donation, or there is an indirect way. Just go buy a refreshment." A few laughs came from the grownups, who actually understood the joke. The kids just scratched their heads.  
  
"Well, it looks like we're ready for our next number. Enjoy." Calvin stepped back, and positioned himself at the keyboard.  
  
  
  
Pleasant (kindof) Monday  
  
{Words to tune of 'Pleasant Valley Sunday}  
  
  
  
The Club of Gross, up in a tree, is havin' a meeting in their fort.  
  
They plot and plan to think of ways to torture girls of any sort.  
  
  
  
Another Pleasant (kindof) Monday  
  
Snowballs flying though the air.  
  
Lots of girls that are all targets.  
  
And parents seem to care.  
  
  
  
When Susie who is a little moody, takes a walk and passes by.  
  
The members of this great club get her wet and make her cry.  
  
  
  
Another Pleasant (kindof) Monday  
  
Here in Calvin's little land.  
  
His parents lecture him on how bad he is.  
  
But he just doesn't understand.  
  
  
  
They'll do it o'r and o'r,  
  
Susie will be pasted more.  
  
It will be hard for her to see.  
  
  
  
Bottle caps will be given away  
  
First Tiger Hobbes will say  
  
"It's been declared a victory."  
  
  
  
Another Pleasant (kindof) Monday  
  
Snowballs flying though the air.  
  
Another Pleasant (kindof) Monday  
  
Here in Calvin's little land.  
  
  
  
Another Pleasant (kindof) Monday  
  
Another Pleasant (kindof) Monday!  
  
  
  
The crowd erupted in applause. Susie made a face at Calvin, but he ignored it and bowed. 


	3. Known Better Then To Spy On You

G.R.O.S.S Club Concert - Song 3  
  
Calvin fixed the microphone for a moment and spoke into it again. "This next song is one of my personal favorites for I have experienced it several times."  
  
  
  
I should have known better than to spy on you  
  
[To the tune of "I should have know better" by the Beatles]  
  
  
  
I should have known better than to spy on you  
  
That I would know everything that you do  
  
And I do  
  
Hey Hey Hey  
  
And I do  
  
  
  
Oh Oh  
  
I never realized the trouble that I'd be  
  
If I was caught now at the hour of three  
  
Can't you see  
  
Can't you see  
  
  
  
That when I read your secret diary,  
  
Oh  
  
You're gonna get red and angry  
  
Oh  
  
  
  
And when I pelt you with balloons  
  
You're gonna run away from me.  
  
  
  
So  
  
I should realized a lot of things before  
  
If this is fun you've gotta give me more.  
  
Give me more  
  
Hey Hey Hey  
  
Give me more  
  
  
  
Whoa Whoa  
  
I never realized the trouble that I'd be  
  
If I was caught now at the hour of three  
  
Can't you see  
  
Can't you see  
  
  
  
That when I read your secret diary  
  
Oh  
  
You're gonna get red and angry  
  
Oh  
  
  
  
And when I pelt you with balloons  
  
You're gonna run away from me.  
  
You'll run from me.  
  
You'll run from me.  
  
You'll run from me.  
  
  
  
The crowd, now about the whole neighborhood, clapped loudly. Susie grimaced, knowing the song was about her, therefore Calvin had read her diary, then made yet another face at Calvin. Calvin responded by sticking out his tongue while his eyes twinkled. He was clearly enjoying the attention this concert was bringing to him. 


	4. Character Killed the Future Boy Star

Disclaimer: I do not own Calvin and Hobbes or "Video Killed the Radio Star"

Calvin stepped back and said to Hobbes, "Only one more song after this, than our ultimate goal goes into action."

Hobbes nodded and Calvin started the next song.

**Character Killed the Future Boy Star**

I heard you won the Grammy back in ninety-two

Before your father came; built character in you

I think you would have stopped him if you only knew

_Oh-a-oh_

He made you pick up sticks; kept you from running free

Made you ride your bike and play ball constantly

He is taking all the fun out, can you not see?

_Oh-a-oh_

I met your children

_Oh-a-oh_

But did you tell them

Character Killed the Future Boy Star

Character Killed the Future Boy Star

Your dad came; your will he marred

_Oh-a-oh-oh-oh_

And now restricted; you have no place to go.

You only want to do stuff that's beneficial.

Now your personality is only so and so.

_Oh-a-oh_

You were the first one

_Oh-a-oh_

You weren't the last one

Character killed the Future Boy Star

Character killed the Future Boy Star

It like you've been caught in black tar.

You can't go back, you went too far

_Oh-a-oh-oh-oh_

_Oh-a-oh-oh-oh_

Character killed the Future Boy Star

Character killed the Future Boy Star

It like you've been caught in black tar

You can't go back, you went too far

Now goofing off now seems amis

Look out, all kids, and learn from this

_Oooohhh_….the future boy star

_Oooohhh_ the future boy star

Character killed the Future Boy Star

Character killed the Future Boy Star

Character killed the Future Boy Star

Character killed the Future Boy Star

_Oooohhh_….the future boy star

Character killed the Future Boy Star

_Oooohh_h….the future boy star

Character killed the Future Boy Star


End file.
